Lying with intent.

Is being able to lie a good thing or a bad thing? I think it really does depend on the situation. For example, If someone asks someone to tell them the truth about a friend who they believe are talking about them behind their back. It would hurt their feelings to know that they were being betrayed by a friend, but it would also be wrong if their other friend was to keep the truth from them.

What is the difference in a white lie and a normal lie. Is the white lie more acceptable? If for example you are telling someone that they look fine in what they are wearing and they really do not, this could be considered as a white lie, but on closer reflection this person could take your word for it and later be ridiculed. This would be a situation where it would not be such a good idea to lie.

There are many cartoons or films demonstrating that lying is not a good thing. For example ‘Sharks Tale’ People misinterpret the situation and this lead the main character into letting them believe what they thought they saw. This inevitably leads to life and death danger and in the very end the truth always comes out!

Who could forget Aesop’s fable about the little boy who cried wolf; he certainly didn’t have a happy ending. From childhood we try to reinforce the importance of telling the truth and present them with fables as the consequences of telling lies.

Below is a site with many of Aesop’s fables:

http://www.umass.edu/aesop/

Of course the biggest lie that we tell to children is of course about the lovable Santa Claus, how can we justify lying to our children from birth to hopefully no later than ten! At times I think how nice it is to build the excitement and the glee at imagining that there is a person so kind and happy. However if other children do know the truth about Santa Claus and that he doesn’t really exist in everyday life then the child would be ridiculed or worse hurt by the revelations.

Lying can be classed as a disorder and can become very addictive, like alcohol and drugs, the thrill of getting away with a lie can be most exhilarating. There are two main types defined for liars, Pathological Liars and Compulsive liars.

A Pathological liar can usually be defined by someone who lies almost continuously in order to get their own way and think very little about the consequences on other people. This type of lying is often viewed as a defence mechanism that was developed during infant years and had served them well, this type of lying is also associated with other mental disorders. A pathological liar tends to come across as being manipulative, cunning and self-centred.

A Compulsive liar can be defined as someone who lies out of habit and that lying is a normal and reflective way for responding to questions. Compulsive liars tend to bend the truth about almost everything, be it something small or something large. This happens as telling the truth actually feels awkward and uncomfortable. Compulsive lying is also thought to have developed during childhood, likely to have been due to having being placed in a situation where lying was prudent. Compulsive liars don’t tend to be manipulative, cunning or self-centred as they lie out of habit which is an automatic response which can be hard to break and lead to relationship difficulties.

Below is a website containing further details of lying, this includes how to tell if someone is lying:

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/confront_a_liar/public/compulsive_lying.html